When a marriage sours, it is the children who are affected the most. Torn apart, feeling guilty, children of broken homes cope with the trauma in different ways and the effects can be long-lasting.......
A very good article on Children caught in matrimonial disputes.......
http://www.hinduonnet.com/mag/2011/05/29/stories/2011052950030100.htm
Torn between Mom and Dad ...
Balki, 40, married, with two kids and a high-income job, constantly picks on his mother. “You and dad kept quarrelling, not an ideal situation to grow up in,” he charges. “I have what it takes, would have done better if you'd spent more time with me.”
Sayee, 14, whose parents are separated, lives with grandma. “I do all the work,” she complained to her counsellor. She avoids friends since they talk of fun with their families. “What will I tell them?” she asked. A five-year-old, when asked to draw “My family”, drew a couple and two houses. Another, whose mom has remarried, asked in confusion, “Which father's name do you want?”
Somu, 13, answers all questions from his therapist with a nod. His case-sheet says he is quiet and obedient, so why have his grades plummeted? “He is taking the adult role of being responsible and adjusts with the situation — not a happy thing,” his counsellor says.
Psychiatrists and counsellors across the country tell us that among the children sent for counselling, an increasing number are from broken homes. “A new situation needing new approaches,” says Magdalene Jeyarathnam, Director, Centre for Counselling, Chennai, citing the column-hogging Vanitha-Akash case. Baffled by the kid's aversion to mom, the Madras High Court ordered their kid to be seen by a psychiatrist. “Either the child suffered some kind of abuse when he was with his biological mother and stepfather or his biological father tutored the child so well that he is refusing to go with his mother,” said the judge. “The case has posed the greatest challenge... For once I [was] at my wits' end on how to deal with a nine-year-old boy.”
Insensitive parents
Case studies have pieced together what kids go through in unhappy homes. Blissfully unaware of the impact, couples blame each other, raise voices and use harsh language, even as the kid watches helplessly (“Child abuse,” insists Magdalene.) He/She is sucked into the cold war between parents (“Tell dad he's free to do what he wants”/“Is your mom ever home?”), mercilessly co-opted into the frustrations of a crumbling marriage (“If not for you, I would have done it differently. I have to stay with him/her for your sake”.)
If this isn't devastating, there's the painful stretch of the divorce process. For months, the kid is hauled from court to stuffy court. The unkindest cut is when a stranger in a courtroom asks, “Whom do you want, mom or dad?” Once visitation rights are settled, he has to get used to shuttling between homes. Abduction delivers the next punch. The petrified kid is plucked out of familiar surroundings, threatened with unpleasant consequences if he squealed on the parent or forgot the tutored script. “I'll kill you” he's told. Grow up fast and “know” the world, is the message.
The result is psychological damage. “Children carry guilt and shame from a broken marriage,” says Mohana Narayanan, who visits schools to help kids with behavioural problems. “How kids react to the collapse depends on their age, personality and family support.” Less than ten, they may feel responsible for the split. Teens blame the parents. It's loss of face for them to be a product of a broken marriage. The stigma, young adults fear, might dent marriage prospects. “The boy might hesitate to tell his parents that the girl of his choice is from a “dysfunctional” family. He may look past this, but has a problem convincing his parents,” explains Mohana.
Magdalene puts it differently: “A pacifist kid feels responsible, an assertive kid rages, a scared kid withdraws. The effects can be long-lasting.” Prof. Manju Mehta, Psychiatrist, AIIMS, worries about the loss of a sense of security, so essential for a growing child. “A stable family provides bonding and values,” she says. “With separation children miss the feeling of being loved. Both parents contribute to development in toddlers.” What if the mother's earning capacity is less, she asks. “This may affect his self esteem, leading to other emotional or conduct problems.”
Extreme reactions
Psychologist Pratima Havaldar at a Managerial Development Programme, Mumbai, has noticed both extremes in kids from divorced families. “They talk obsessively or decide not to talk on issues related to their parents,” she says. “Some avoid talk of any relationship, with peers, relatives.” What starts as apprehension during the divorce process breaks into aggression, lack of concentration and lowered academic interest, post-divorce. Kids who're too young to understand parental conflict can still sense the atmosphere, and are frightened by the threat to their security. Being dependent on moms, they often regress in behaviour. Step families don't always fill the gaps, she says. Children may feel torn between the parent with whom they live and the one they visit. “Traumatised kids experiment with delinquent activities,” she says.” They become disruptive, pick up quarrels, use inappropriate words, indulge in petty theft.
PHOTO: K. MURALI KUMAR
Spare the child the uncertainty...
Heart-wrenchingly, they try to cope. One kid told the counsellor, “If I choose one the other will be upset, so I begged, ‘ Please stay together, it doesn't matter if you don't talk to each other'.” “Research reveals kids push through emotion-bending situations,” says Pratima. “Impact of divorce is intense in the first two years, but kids learn to carry on.” It is also true that kids breathe easy after separation. Isn't “shanthi” preferable to slanging matches? “Kids love both parents and think, “Ok, let them stay apart. I'll deal with them individually.”
It's complicated, but the healing begins at home. Dr. Sudhir Hebbar, Apollo Hospital, Bengaluru, who's had parents consulting him on kids with post-traumatic disorder, says, “Kids suffer from watching parental quarrels. We do recommend parents stay together for the sake of children, but this is just one consideration.” If a parent substitute is available, the impact of one person's absence will be less, says Dr. Manju.
Opting out is an absolute last resort, says Mohana. “What message are you sending out? Before becoming parents, become partners, build a strong relationship. Realise, kids will be affected when the marriage sours.” Talking to kids whose families are unravelling is very difficult, she points out. Kids tell her, ‘We fight because they fight.' “You can't expect them to resolve their problems sensibly. I tell pre-teens and teens, ‘They're still your parents'. They understand, but find it hard to duck the emotional sledge-hammer.” Continue to be a friend to your ex-partner, so he/she can be a parent, says Magdalene. Be civil, make decisions about the kid together. You have no right to cut the kid off from the other parent, unless there is a physical threat.
Some mums now “prepare” the kids for the impending separation. “My children's picture book, Living With Mom, Spending Time With Dad, takes us through the myriad emotions that two children Stephen and Alex experience during this tumultuous period,” said Madhu. Magdalene flips a colourful children's book to a page with different expressions on a baby bear face. “I ask them to describe the expressions, and kids invariably attribute their own emotions to the faces. “He is crying and crying,” they say looking at a grimace. Reading books on how kids/animals cope can be therapeutic.”
Members of the NGO Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) talk of better legislation. Since India hasn't signed the Hague Convention of Child Abduction, inter-parental child abduction isn't considered a crime here, they point out. They want child custody cases handled by a separate jury under the National Commission for Child Welfare (NCCW) so that they're dealt with sensitively and are disposed of speedily.
We have no say which way the marriage will sail, but couples can be guided by smooth winds, say experts. Magdalene tells of a woman who brought her kids aged 8 and 5 for counselling when she decided to separate. “After the divorce, the boy spent time with the father, got close to him, but worried it might upset mom. I spoke to her, and she said, “Why not? He's your father!” The kid needed to hear this from her.”
Counselling helps
Compulsory counselling for kids in all divorce cases and group sessions with other kids are some of the suggestions. Kids need to be assured that separation does not mean parents don't love them, says Magdalene. “Say it a billion times, ‘It is not your fault, you have a life to live, you have a right to happiness'. Equip him to control what is within his control, but the best gift you can give the kid is to love your spouse.”
The names of children and parents have been changed. Helpline for Centre For Counselling: +91-98847-00164 / +91-98847-00106
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Nasty Innovative Group Protest Against Laws of Evil: Lock Protest (PROTEST MODEL 1) - Individual Protes...
Nasty Innovative Group Protest Against Laws of Evil: Lock Protest (PROTEST MODEL 1) - Individual Protes...: "Protest Model 1: Buy a Lock.......Place a sticker which says 'PROTEST AGAINST 498A and DV'. Lock the Court Gate or Lawyer's house or Lofer W..."
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
MASSIVE PROCESSION CONCLUDED BY DHARNA ON 04-06-2011 – BANGALORE
MASSIVE PROCESSION CONCLUDED BY DHARNA ON 04-06-2011 – BANGALORE
PROCESSION CONCLUDED BY DHARNA on 04-06-2011 by National Family Harmony Society® to protest against heavy misuse of Domestic Violence Act.
About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 16000 members all over India. To know more about us please visit www.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in / http://498amisuse.wordpress.com
Details of the Event
Procession starting at Town Hall @9.30 AM
Procession concluding at Banappa Park @10.15 AM
Dharna at Banappa Park 10.15 AM – 12.00 Noon
We request all members who participate in the procession to maintain discipline.
Kindly reach the start point of the procession on time so that there is good strength for procession.
The procession is a “silent protest” and there will be no slogan shouting.
However at the Dharna we are free to shout slogans.
To protest against the injustice by the Government we plan to tie black ribbon around mouth to symbolic show that MEN facing injustice are not even being allowed to speak out.
The Theme of the protest is Gandhi Ji’s 3 Monkeys!!
Judiciary – They are turning a blind eye to the injustice, saying they are law implementers and not law makers.
Legislature- Fearing from women vote bank, Legislature is not speaking out even though they know that Gender biased law’s are heavily misused.
Executive- The executive turn away MEN and do not listen to MEN saying “Do not involve us in this and solve your problem in the court”
So, the question is where do MEN GO???
If the 3 main pillars of the democracy have shut their doors on the MEN then we have hope only from the fourth pillar of the democracy i.e. Media.
We appeal all our media friends to help us to spread awareness regarding heavy misuse of the gender biased laws and injustice caused to MEN and his families due to this.
Please save the family and thereby save our great Nation to retain India a “Vasudeva Kutumbaham”.
Jai Hind!!
With profound respects,
For further information please contact.
Suresh P 9880141531
President,
Mahesh M, 9731569970
General Secretary
PROCESSION CONCLUDED BY DHARNA on 04-06-2011 by National Family Harmony Society® to protest against heavy misuse of Domestic Violence Act.
About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 16000 members all over India. To know more about us please visit www.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in / http://498amisuse.wordpress.com
Details of the Event
Procession starting at Town Hall @9.30 AM
Procession concluding at Banappa Park @10.15 AM
Dharna at Banappa Park 10.15 AM – 12.00 Noon
We request all members who participate in the procession to maintain discipline.
Kindly reach the start point of the procession on time so that there is good strength for procession.
The procession is a “silent protest” and there will be no slogan shouting.
However at the Dharna we are free to shout slogans.
To protest against the injustice by the Government we plan to tie black ribbon around mouth to symbolic show that MEN facing injustice are not even being allowed to speak out.
The Theme of the protest is Gandhi Ji’s 3 Monkeys!!
Judiciary – They are turning a blind eye to the injustice, saying they are law implementers and not law makers.
Legislature- Fearing from women vote bank, Legislature is not speaking out even though they know that Gender biased law’s are heavily misused.
Executive- The executive turn away MEN and do not listen to MEN saying “Do not involve us in this and solve your problem in the court”
So, the question is where do MEN GO???
If the 3 main pillars of the democracy have shut their doors on the MEN then we have hope only from the fourth pillar of the democracy i.e. Media.
We appeal all our media friends to help us to spread awareness regarding heavy misuse of the gender biased laws and injustice caused to MEN and his families due to this.
Please save the family and thereby save our great Nation to retain India a “Vasudeva Kutumbaham”.
Jai Hind!!
With profound respects,
For further information please contact.
Suresh P 9880141531
President,
Mahesh M, 9731569970
General Secretary
Friday, May 20, 2011
Letter 2 Mr. Law Minister on HUNGER STRIKE against misuse of 498a and anti-men laws..!!
To
The Honorable Minister,
Dr. M. Veerappa Moily,
Ministry of Law and Justice
4th Floor, A-Wing, Shastri Bhawan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Subject: HUNGER STRIKE AGAINST MISUSE OF IPC 498A, ANTI MEN LAW.
REVIEW OF IPC 498A AS PER SUPREME COURT DIRECTIVE
Respected Sir,
In the last 60 years of Independence, many efforts have been made,
many measures taken and many laws passed for uplifting, empowering and
protecting women, who, as a group, were considered weak and
disadvantaged. While proudly championing women’s rights, the society
also tacitly approved the propagation of anti-male sentiments and
policies by “radical groups” and the resultant diminution in value of
men’s lives and the blatant violation of men’s rights.
While the blatant misuse of laws like IPC 498A and Domestic Violence
Act has been well-documented, women’s organizations and the Government
are still touting them as tools for ensuring women’s empowerment and
gender equality. In reality, these laws are not about equality at all,
as they are specifically designed to treat men and women unequally. In
fact, not even all women are treated equally under these laws. A brief
look at the assumptions of these laws is enough to understand why they
are unfair, and how they violate basic human rights.
On various instances, Supreme Court of India, has issued direction to
the Government of India to Review IPC section 498 A, namely:
1) At the time of delivering the judgment in case of CRIMINAL APPEAL
NO. 1512 OF 2010 , (Arising out of SLP (Crl.) No.4684 of 2009) in the
case of Preeti Gupta & Another vs State of Jharkhand & Another, the
Hon’ble Supreme Court of India had stated the below with reference to
section 498a and its huge misuse .
In Para 34 :-
.... Before parting with this case, we would like to observe that a
serious relook of the entire provision is warranted by the
legislation. It is also a matter of common knowledge that exaggerated
versions of the incident are reflected in a large number of
complaints. The tendency of over implication is also reflected in a
very large number of cases
IPC 498A has a strong bias against women as well and the extent of
Women themselves getting arrested in a so called women protection law
are:
Table 1: No of WOMEN Arrested in IPC 498a in last Five Years
Women arrested in Year No of Arrests
2004 27832
2005 28745
2006 31253
2007 35667
2008 37369
TOTAL 160866
Source:NCRB
The Indian suicide statistics as well is a strong reflection of state
of Indian married men.
Suicide Statistics of year 2009
MARITAL STATUS MEN WOMEN TOTAL % MORE MEN Ratio
Never Married 17738 10063 27801 76% 1.76
Married 58192 31300 89492 86% 1.86
Widowed/Widower 2848 2674 5522 7% 1.07
Divorcee 635 613 1248 4% 1.04
Separated 2058 1030 3088 100% 2.00
TOTAL 81471 45680 127151 78% 1.78
Source: NCRB
I, Dashrath M.Devda, President, Akhil Bhartiya Patni Atyachar Virodhi
Sangh, strongly protests against the misuse of IPC 498A, DV Act, IPC
304B, IPC 306 and all other women centric laws. We have called for a
Hunger Strike and I, have been sitting on Hunger Strike on behalf of
my NGO, since May 15, 2011. Today it is more than 120 hours of my
Hunger Strike.
To prevent torture of Indian married men and their families against
the misuse of Anti-Men laws, our Demands are:
• Close down Crime Against Women Cell
• Constitute National Commission for Men in lines of National
Commission for Women
•
Remove the word “relative” from the definition of IPC 498A. No
relative should be dragged in the dispute of husband and wife.
• Stop extortion under IPC 406 in the guise of Streedhan
• Mediation in marital disputes should not be handled by Police Officials.
• Simplify and ease out the Divorce procedures to stop suicides and homicides.
• No maintenance to wife who has left the matrimonial home.
• All matrimonial litigations should be tried in one court.
• Stop judicial bias towards women
• Amend DV Act of 2005
• Penalty for misusers of IPC 498A
• Stop TV serials promoting family disharmony
As per” SC Directive” as mentioned above, we want a Time Bound review
of 498A, otherwise we would go for “Jail Bharo” Andolan from May 23,
2011.
Regards,
Dashrath.M.Devda
President
09925834516
Cc:
Her Excellency Smt. Pratibha Patil
President of India,
Rashtrapati Bhavan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Dr, Manmohan Singh
Prime Minister of India
South Block, Raisana Hill,
New Delhi-110 001
The Honorable Minister,
Dr. M. Veerappa Moily,
Ministry of Law and Justice
4th Floor, A-Wing, Shastri Bhawan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Subject: HUNGER STRIKE AGAINST MISUSE OF IPC 498A, ANTI MEN LAW.
REVIEW OF IPC 498A AS PER SUPREME COURT DIRECTIVE
Respected Sir,
In the last 60 years of Independence, many efforts have been made,
many measures taken and many laws passed for uplifting, empowering and
protecting women, who, as a group, were considered weak and
disadvantaged. While proudly championing women’s rights, the society
also tacitly approved the propagation of anti-male sentiments and
policies by “radical groups” and the resultant diminution in value of
men’s lives and the blatant violation of men’s rights.
While the blatant misuse of laws like IPC 498A and Domestic Violence
Act has been well-documented, women’s organizations and the Government
are still touting them as tools for ensuring women’s empowerment and
gender equality. In reality, these laws are not about equality at all,
as they are specifically designed to treat men and women unequally. In
fact, not even all women are treated equally under these laws. A brief
look at the assumptions of these laws is enough to understand why they
are unfair, and how they violate basic human rights.
On various instances, Supreme Court of India, has issued direction to
the Government of India to Review IPC section 498 A, namely:
1) At the time of delivering the judgment in case of CRIMINAL APPEAL
NO. 1512 OF 2010 , (Arising out of SLP (Crl.) No.4684 of 2009) in the
case of Preeti Gupta & Another vs State of Jharkhand & Another, the
Hon’ble Supreme Court of India had stated the below with reference to
section 498a and its huge misuse .
In Para 34 :-
.... Before parting with this case, we would like to observe that a
serious relook of the entire provision is warranted by the
legislation. It is also a matter of common knowledge that exaggerated
versions of the incident are reflected in a large number of
complaints. The tendency of over implication is also reflected in a
very large number of cases
IPC 498A has a strong bias against women as well and the extent of
Women themselves getting arrested in a so called women protection law
are:
Table 1: No of WOMEN Arrested in IPC 498a in last Five Years
Women arrested in Year No of Arrests
2004 27832
2005 28745
2006 31253
2007 35667
2008 37369
TOTAL 160866
Source:NCRB
The Indian suicide statistics as well is a strong reflection of state
of Indian married men.
Suicide Statistics of year 2009
MARITAL STATUS MEN WOMEN TOTAL % MORE MEN Ratio
Never Married 17738 10063 27801 76% 1.76
Married 58192 31300 89492 86% 1.86
Widowed/Widower 2848 2674 5522 7% 1.07
Divorcee 635 613 1248 4% 1.04
Separated 2058 1030 3088 100% 2.00
TOTAL 81471 45680 127151 78% 1.78
Source: NCRB
I, Dashrath M.Devda, President, Akhil Bhartiya Patni Atyachar Virodhi
Sangh, strongly protests against the misuse of IPC 498A, DV Act, IPC
304B, IPC 306 and all other women centric laws. We have called for a
Hunger Strike and I, have been sitting on Hunger Strike on behalf of
my NGO, since May 15, 2011. Today it is more than 120 hours of my
Hunger Strike.
To prevent torture of Indian married men and their families against
the misuse of Anti-Men laws, our Demands are:
• Close down Crime Against Women Cell
• Constitute National Commission for Men in lines of National
Commission for Women
•
Remove the word “relative” from the definition of IPC 498A. No
relative should be dragged in the dispute of husband and wife.
• Stop extortion under IPC 406 in the guise of Streedhan
• Mediation in marital disputes should not be handled by Police Officials.
• Simplify and ease out the Divorce procedures to stop suicides and homicides.
• No maintenance to wife who has left the matrimonial home.
• All matrimonial litigations should be tried in one court.
• Stop judicial bias towards women
• Amend DV Act of 2005
• Penalty for misusers of IPC 498A
• Stop TV serials promoting family disharmony
As per” SC Directive” as mentioned above, we want a Time Bound review
of 498A, otherwise we would go for “Jail Bharo” Andolan from May 23,
2011.
Regards,
Dashrath.M.Devda
President
09925834516
Cc:
Her Excellency Smt. Pratibha Patil
President of India,
Rashtrapati Bhavan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Dr, Manmohan Singh
Prime Minister of India
South Block, Raisana Hill,
New Delhi-110 001
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:.......Press Note !
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
(Free-Press-Release.com) May 20, 2011 --
Shri Dashrath Devda, noted Men's Rights Activist is sitting on fast unto death along with his many supporters, including many women, at Jantar Mantar in New Delhi. In this heat of Delhi, the protesters are sitting on hunger strike peacefully so that society and government may recognize the ill effects of abuse of various Anti-men laws.
As per data of National Crime Records Bureau, every 9th minute a husband commits suicide in India. There are instances where husbands committing suicide has recorded their videos about abuse of Anti-men laws. Despite incontrovertible evidence of abuse of these laws, no steps have been taken by the Government to address these concerns. Ironically, many women have suffered heavily in the hand of these laws. Gender Biased Domestic Violence Act is breaking the families of India. There is no recognition of Father's Rights. Various maintenance laws are being used to usurp from men the basic human right of fruits of one's labour. Destitute men are being sent to jail merely because they cannot pay the exorbitant maintenance awarded to the wives. An estimate suggest that more women have been arrested by the Government of Independent India under Section 498A than total arrest of women by British Government during the whole life of Freedom Movement of India!
A few months back, when Shri Devda raised concerns of men through a Public Interest Litigation in Gujrat High Court, a fine was imposed on him. These issues requires legislative changes, and probably street protest is the only way through which a citizen of India can make his voice heard to the democratic institutions.
The protesters demand Gender Neutral Laws. Even the Law Minister of India promised Gender Neutral Laws some time back. However, after that Anti-men Gender Biased Sexual Harassment Bill was introduced in Lok Sabha, which is likely to make "workplace" a dangerous place to work for Men. Through women reservation in Parliament and state legislatures, men are being ousted from the democratic process of the nation. In Rural India, already men have been ousted from the democratic process of the country through reservation in Panchayats, as men cannot participate in the elections in reserved constituencies.
It is felt that political establishment of the country are treating women as a "voting block" and these steps are designed to divide the country on gender lines. We oppose any such division. Men's Rights Activists believe in harmonious relationship of genders and keep on working for gender justice.
(Free-Press-Release.com) May 20, 2011 --
Shri Dashrath Devda, noted Men's Rights Activist is sitting on fast unto death along with his many supporters, including many women, at Jantar Mantar in New Delhi. In this heat of Delhi, the protesters are sitting on hunger strike peacefully so that society and government may recognize the ill effects of abuse of various Anti-men laws.
As per data of National Crime Records Bureau, every 9th minute a husband commits suicide in India. There are instances where husbands committing suicide has recorded their videos about abuse of Anti-men laws. Despite incontrovertible evidence of abuse of these laws, no steps have been taken by the Government to address these concerns. Ironically, many women have suffered heavily in the hand of these laws. Gender Biased Domestic Violence Act is breaking the families of India. There is no recognition of Father's Rights. Various maintenance laws are being used to usurp from men the basic human right of fruits of one's labour. Destitute men are being sent to jail merely because they cannot pay the exorbitant maintenance awarded to the wives. An estimate suggest that more women have been arrested by the Government of Independent India under Section 498A than total arrest of women by British Government during the whole life of Freedom Movement of India!
A few months back, when Shri Devda raised concerns of men through a Public Interest Litigation in Gujrat High Court, a fine was imposed on him. These issues requires legislative changes, and probably street protest is the only way through which a citizen of India can make his voice heard to the democratic institutions.
The protesters demand Gender Neutral Laws. Even the Law Minister of India promised Gender Neutral Laws some time back. However, after that Anti-men Gender Biased Sexual Harassment Bill was introduced in Lok Sabha, which is likely to make "workplace" a dangerous place to work for Men. Through women reservation in Parliament and state legislatures, men are being ousted from the democratic process of the nation. In Rural India, already men have been ousted from the democratic process of the country through reservation in Panchayats, as men cannot participate in the elections in reserved constituencies.
It is felt that political establishment of the country are treating women as a "voting block" and these steps are designed to divide the country on gender lines. We oppose any such division. Men's Rights Activists believe in harmonious relationship of genders and keep on working for gender justice.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
HUNGER STRIKE BY DASHRATH TO PREVENT MISUSE OF IPC498A AND ANTI-MEN LAW
India :
HUNGER STRIKE BY DASHRATH TO PREVENT MISUSE OF IPC498A AND ANIT-MEN LAW LIKE CRPC125,HMA24, DV ACT IN JANTAR MANTAR DELHI FROM 15TH MAY 2011.
ALL ARE REQUESTED TO BE PRESENT ON SATERDAY 4.0PM ONWARDS AT JANTAR MANTAR TO RISE YOUR VOICE ALONG WITH YOUR AGE OLD PARENTS AND SISTERS WHO ARE VICTIM OF SUCH MISUSE OF LAW AND LEGAL TERRORISM AS DESCRIBED BY SUPREMECOURT OF INDIA.
Inspite of SC direction to review the same law LAW Ministery not taken any effective time bound action. This time they have to give us the time bound confirmation of action.
We wonder Whose life is in More Danger in India : Men or Women?
Crime Bure data 2005 : Married Men Sucide : 52k vs Married Women Sucide 28K.Still there is no LAW to Protect Men why?
2006 Crime Bure Data : Married Men Sucide:55452 vs. Married Women Sucide:29869.
2007 Crime Bure Data : Married Men Sucide:57593 vs. Married Women Sucide:30064
Will Our LAW Maker change the LAW 304B( dowry death) to 304C( Sowry Death) and 498A ( harrasement to wife) to 498B ( Sowry harrasement by wife)
Urgently Review the Present IPC 498A and Make Same Gender Natural.
The Government needs to act NOW Save Family Foundation urges the Government of India to make the following amendments to the law and ensure that ordinary citizens of India are spared from needless harassment:
1.Section 498A of IPC should be made bailable.
Section 498A, being non-bailable, allows punishing the accused by imprisonment even before guilt is established. This goes against the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which states that everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law. Abused women need protection, but placing unconditional faith in the statements of a woman and confining the accused husband and his family in police or judicial custody, until bail is granted by a court, is not the way to accord protection to women.
2.Section 498A of IPC should be made non-cognizable.
Innocent citizens are being arrested everyday based on mere complaints without requiring evidence or investigation. Even children and senior citizens are not being spared. IPC 498A, being a cognizable offence, violates a citizen’s right to due process.
3.IPC 498A and Domestic Violence Law should be made gender neutral.
Domestic abuse is not gender specific. The assumption that victims of physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse are always women is wrong. According the Universal Declaration of Human Rights “all are equal before the law, and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law”. Hence, men should also be accorded protection from physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse by women.
4. Persons who misuse IPC 498A and Domestic Violence Law should be penalized.
Misuse of the process of law not only costs the public exchequer dearly, but also destroys the personal lives of many innocent citizens. Misuse of law should be treated as a serious crime, and persons who use women-protection laws as weapons for settling personal scores in marital disputes should be severely punished.
Gender Biased LAW should immediately be made crime based instead of any assumption that all women never lie and all the men are born as Criminals. “MEN/WOMEN” word to be replaced by word “PERSON” and word wife/husband to be replaced with the word “SPOUSE”
Further it is totally wrong to assume and biased view that each and every suicide of a women due to men and all the suicide of men the same to be termed as social service by women , even when it is clear evidence that the women is responsible for the suicide of the men , still such women get Scot free . Our Study reports “Domestic Violence against Men” confirm the same beyond the reasonable dought (Enclosed for your reference). If we consider the definition of the Present DV act, like Verbal abuse, mental abuse, economical abuse, Physical abuse and sexual abuse, more than 98% Men also face the same at their Home.
The current domestic violence act was drafted by lawyers whose expertise on 1st principle of law making and justice can be shown to be questionable. Some of their key members are unable to understand that words police, bail, jail, bonds have no place in a civil law. A law to jail, “tadipar” and fine can be provided only in accordance with a criminal matter that is in criminal laws.The similar set of lawyers fail to provide IPC or the civil law where in the men have any rights though they make a claim that problems faced by men can be taken care of . The current Domestic violence laws need to scrap to be replaced by more reasonable laws a domestic harmony laws in consultation with a panel consisting of Retired judges. Such can be done in 6 months. Let us remove the lawyers from the equation and their self interest. Let the Husband/wife say the truth in Family courts, instead of making twisted allegation against each other by the twisted advice of lawyers. This law is cynically ignorant of the first principle of human rights, dignity, law and justice.
The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (DV Law), which evens the Hon’ble Supreme Court of India, has termed as clumsily drafted, has several provisions that are wrong and goes against the common sense and tramples the fundamental rights, such as equal protection under the law and the right to own property. This is to bring to your notice these wrongs and request a review for changes, or scraping of this Law to help the society. Under section 17 of the DV Law, women can seek entry into any house, she ever lived in the past 10 years, whether she has any claim or right to it or not.
Under section 19 she can throw any man, who was in a domestic relationship with her, out of his own house. This law is worded in a fashion that the house could be of senior citizens or retirees, a man’s friends or relatives, etc. Senior citizens work all their lives to save and live in a house of their own to live their golden years with dignity. This is an outright injustice to force to them to abandon their own homes. This law offers unscrupulous women and their greedy relatives, the incentive to legally grab property and hold the owners to ransom or subject them to extortion.
While Judiciary seems to have a taken a much more proactive stance in containing misuse of DV laws compared to 498a and dowry law where in almost a free for all free reign has been given to misuser . The obvious misuse and abuse of families cases in DV are too numerous. All the cases filed with only one intention to extort the money form the husband’s family, nothing else.
We, on behalf of Save Family Foundation, Delhi, write to you to expeditiously amend the lopsided PWDVA which was passed on the basis of assumption and biased view along with under tremendous pressure from a small minority of vocal and radical Groups elements of our country, who want that each and every home a litigation should start ( Promotion of Legal Terrorism) and a Huge money had been invested for that purpose, which is evident from their huge cry that why only approx.10000 Domestic Violence case filed in one year, it evident that those groups work like a Business Group who had invested huge money with the expectation the expected Profit and Business Turnover and for that they are desperate to ensure that there should not be any single home to be spared where Litigation not started.
Hence our sincere request to you to take immediate action, if we really want a Happy Family life in India and our Future Child will not spend their Child hood under Father Less Society:
Replace the word “Husband and Wife” with “Spouse”.
Replace the word “Men and Women” with “Person”.
Government should make the provision for Shelter Home and other facility to the victim of Domestic Violence, as an interim relief.
Establish the Family Court without Lawyers and the Domestic Disputes to be resolved in Family Court only.
In case found the complainant had not come to file the case in Clean Hand and misused the LAW along with Judiciary / administrative authority, they should be punished and the fine amount should go to Government as revenue.
Duplication/ multiple maintenance case to be stopped. This is total abuse of not only the natural Justice Systems and Duplication of LAW, this is the main motivation for filling false and fabricated case to extort the money from Husbands family.
There should not be any direct Compensation to the Complainant, if the offence proved beyond reasonable dought the offender should be Punished or fined and in such fine amount should go to the Government Revenue only. The same should be used for the well fare of real victim of Domestic Violence as a collectively. There should not be any difference or discrimination of Rich or poor people and different facility. All should be treated as same standard.
Those cases already 498A/Divorce/CRPC125 or any other cases had been filed and couple are not staying together and their case already pending in court , should not be allowed to file another DV case ( This is total Violation of Indian Constitution of article 20 , where a accused can’t be punished twice for the same offence)
· WCD (Ministry of Women and Child Development) review committees consist of all women committees with radical and extreme views. We seek that representatives of NGO’s like Save Family Foundation and their associates should be included in this committee. This is to ensure that there is balance and sanity in the review of the law.
· Service providers in DV (Domestic Violence) LAW should be neutral persons and made accountable for their actions to ensure justice for the greater good of society. Restricting service providers to women’s group’s activists and organizations is like asking the wolf to guard the sheep. These groups are not above temptation to extortion, blackmail and corruption. Besides, who will monitor their actions and penalize them for abuses? Judges and officials should be neutral. They should be insulated from pressure and intimidation under the garb of gender sensitization.
The other problem is that a specious argument by similar set of lawyers is made that residence right previously not available is being made available. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Women and men both have same residence rights in fact women have better rights then men. Both can rent or buy houses. (Women actually pay less property tax in some states so it becomes clear that women had marginally superior rights). What has happened in the new laws that husbands and their families have been denied their residential rights.
It should be important that even a convicted murderer or terrorists are not denied their residence in his owned or rented residence. Further they failed to understand the Indian society that it is the Husbands family providing the residence to women in more than 99% cases. Such type of law, where your own right to stay in your own residence refused, in long run will make the poor girls family life more miserable as very few people will be really interested to marry girl who does not have a own residence.
The right of retired persons to live peacefully in houses purchased out of their retirement funds is being sought to be made unavailable to it as per present Domestic Violence LAW.
The other curious problem which has started that even violent women are getting their way in the domestic violence cases as there have been disturbing judgments to that affect . In addition to that as the law failed to describe what is “live-in-relationship” with a strict time frame to claim the legal rights form each other like all other developed countries, creating a situation where a job and right of a prostitutes and normal women made equal and there is no difference at all.
Another disturbing element is regards custody of children. It has upheld the traditional notion of women as children making machines. A husband or mother-in-law who has raised his children could go to Jail merely on account of taking care of children. That there are reports of such happening raises further cause for complaint.
Other disturbing elements have been arrests happening in DV law for non presence. Civil and marital law does not envision arrests or arrest warrants. (The only arrest warrants should be for non compliance of orders not for non presence where in ex prate order may be granted).
View Point: Domestic Violence Act lacks perspective By Zamir Uddin , Central Chronicle News. “In short, the DVA-2005 in its enthusiastic thoughtlessness has throttled all avenues of reconciliation, has weakened the foundations of the institution of marriage, and vitiated conjugal life by developing a false sense of ego and a fictional helplessness among women. When it comes to man-woman relationship let us listen to the traditional but sane voice of John Milton, the English poet and moralist. Milton says that man represents reason and woman passion. As long as reason dominates passion, there is cosmos, but the moment passion dominates reason, chaos ensues. Let us view marital life from this viewpoint for marriage is not a bed of roses but a domestic battlefield. Unless husband and wife bring immense goodwill and sacrifice to bear upon their marital fortunes, their situation is desperate. The DVA need to be replaced by some more benign, sensible, gender-neutral legislation that may ensure women their rightful, honorable place at home and abroad, at the same time not forgetting the rights of men.”
We want a better Society for our Future Generation and Stop a Father less Child Society, which in turn not only will increase the crime in the society , it is evident from the various study that a father less child had been victim of child abuse at least 10 times more than a normal child.Gender Biased LAW should immediately to be made crime based instead of any assumption that all women never lie and all the men born as Criminal. “MEN/WOMEN” word to be replaced by word “PERSON” and word wife/husband to be replaced with the word “SPOUSE”With High Regards (Save Family Foundation)Encl: Study Report of “Domestic Violence against Men”
HUNGER STRIKE BY DASHRATH TO PREVENT MISUSE OF IPC498A AND ANIT-MEN LAW LIKE CRPC125,HMA24, DV ACT IN JANTAR MANTAR DELHI FROM 15TH MAY 2011.
ALL ARE REQUESTED TO BE PRESENT ON SATERDAY 4.0PM ONWARDS AT JANTAR MANTAR TO RISE YOUR VOICE ALONG WITH YOUR AGE OLD PARENTS AND SISTERS WHO ARE VICTIM OF SUCH MISUSE OF LAW AND LEGAL TERRORISM AS DESCRIBED BY SUPREMECOURT OF INDIA.
Inspite of SC direction to review the same law LAW Ministery not taken any effective time bound action. This time they have to give us the time bound confirmation of action.
We wonder Whose life is in More Danger in India : Men or Women?
Crime Bure data 2005 : Married Men Sucide : 52k vs Married Women Sucide 28K.Still there is no LAW to Protect Men why?
2006 Crime Bure Data : Married Men Sucide:55452 vs. Married Women Sucide:29869.
2007 Crime Bure Data : Married Men Sucide:57593 vs. Married Women Sucide:30064
Will Our LAW Maker change the LAW 304B( dowry death) to 304C( Sowry Death) and 498A ( harrasement to wife) to 498B ( Sowry harrasement by wife)
Urgently Review the Present IPC 498A and Make Same Gender Natural.
The Government needs to act NOW Save Family Foundation urges the Government of India to make the following amendments to the law and ensure that ordinary citizens of India are spared from needless harassment:
1.Section 498A of IPC should be made bailable.
Section 498A, being non-bailable, allows punishing the accused by imprisonment even before guilt is established. This goes against the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which states that everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law. Abused women need protection, but placing unconditional faith in the statements of a woman and confining the accused husband and his family in police or judicial custody, until bail is granted by a court, is not the way to accord protection to women.
2.Section 498A of IPC should be made non-cognizable.
Innocent citizens are being arrested everyday based on mere complaints without requiring evidence or investigation. Even children and senior citizens are not being spared. IPC 498A, being a cognizable offence, violates a citizen’s right to due process.
3.IPC 498A and Domestic Violence Law should be made gender neutral.
Domestic abuse is not gender specific. The assumption that victims of physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse are always women is wrong. According the Universal Declaration of Human Rights “all are equal before the law, and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law”. Hence, men should also be accorded protection from physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse by women.
4. Persons who misuse IPC 498A and Domestic Violence Law should be penalized.
Misuse of the process of law not only costs the public exchequer dearly, but also destroys the personal lives of many innocent citizens. Misuse of law should be treated as a serious crime, and persons who use women-protection laws as weapons for settling personal scores in marital disputes should be severely punished.
Gender Biased LAW should immediately be made crime based instead of any assumption that all women never lie and all the men are born as Criminals. “MEN/WOMEN” word to be replaced by word “PERSON” and word wife/husband to be replaced with the word “SPOUSE”
Further it is totally wrong to assume and biased view that each and every suicide of a women due to men and all the suicide of men the same to be termed as social service by women , even when it is clear evidence that the women is responsible for the suicide of the men , still such women get Scot free . Our Study reports “Domestic Violence against Men” confirm the same beyond the reasonable dought (Enclosed for your reference). If we consider the definition of the Present DV act, like Verbal abuse, mental abuse, economical abuse, Physical abuse and sexual abuse, more than 98% Men also face the same at their Home.
The current domestic violence act was drafted by lawyers whose expertise on 1st principle of law making and justice can be shown to be questionable. Some of their key members are unable to understand that words police, bail, jail, bonds have no place in a civil law. A law to jail, “tadipar” and fine can be provided only in accordance with a criminal matter that is in criminal laws.The similar set of lawyers fail to provide IPC or the civil law where in the men have any rights though they make a claim that problems faced by men can be taken care of . The current Domestic violence laws need to scrap to be replaced by more reasonable laws a domestic harmony laws in consultation with a panel consisting of Retired judges. Such can be done in 6 months. Let us remove the lawyers from the equation and their self interest. Let the Husband/wife say the truth in Family courts, instead of making twisted allegation against each other by the twisted advice of lawyers. This law is cynically ignorant of the first principle of human rights, dignity, law and justice.
The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (DV Law), which evens the Hon’ble Supreme Court of India, has termed as clumsily drafted, has several provisions that are wrong and goes against the common sense and tramples the fundamental rights, such as equal protection under the law and the right to own property. This is to bring to your notice these wrongs and request a review for changes, or scraping of this Law to help the society. Under section 17 of the DV Law, women can seek entry into any house, she ever lived in the past 10 years, whether she has any claim or right to it or not.
Under section 19 she can throw any man, who was in a domestic relationship with her, out of his own house. This law is worded in a fashion that the house could be of senior citizens or retirees, a man’s friends or relatives, etc. Senior citizens work all their lives to save and live in a house of their own to live their golden years with dignity. This is an outright injustice to force to them to abandon their own homes. This law offers unscrupulous women and their greedy relatives, the incentive to legally grab property and hold the owners to ransom or subject them to extortion.
While Judiciary seems to have a taken a much more proactive stance in containing misuse of DV laws compared to 498a and dowry law where in almost a free for all free reign has been given to misuser . The obvious misuse and abuse of families cases in DV are too numerous. All the cases filed with only one intention to extort the money form the husband’s family, nothing else.
We, on behalf of Save Family Foundation, Delhi, write to you to expeditiously amend the lopsided PWDVA which was passed on the basis of assumption and biased view along with under tremendous pressure from a small minority of vocal and radical Groups elements of our country, who want that each and every home a litigation should start ( Promotion of Legal Terrorism) and a Huge money had been invested for that purpose, which is evident from their huge cry that why only approx.10000 Domestic Violence case filed in one year, it evident that those groups work like a Business Group who had invested huge money with the expectation the expected Profit and Business Turnover and for that they are desperate to ensure that there should not be any single home to be spared where Litigation not started.
Hence our sincere request to you to take immediate action, if we really want a Happy Family life in India and our Future Child will not spend their Child hood under Father Less Society:
Replace the word “Husband and Wife” with “Spouse”.
Replace the word “Men and Women” with “Person”.
Government should make the provision for Shelter Home and other facility to the victim of Domestic Violence, as an interim relief.
Establish the Family Court without Lawyers and the Domestic Disputes to be resolved in Family Court only.
In case found the complainant had not come to file the case in Clean Hand and misused the LAW along with Judiciary / administrative authority, they should be punished and the fine amount should go to Government as revenue.
Duplication/ multiple maintenance case to be stopped. This is total abuse of not only the natural Justice Systems and Duplication of LAW, this is the main motivation for filling false and fabricated case to extort the money from Husbands family.
There should not be any direct Compensation to the Complainant, if the offence proved beyond reasonable dought the offender should be Punished or fined and in such fine amount should go to the Government Revenue only. The same should be used for the well fare of real victim of Domestic Violence as a collectively. There should not be any difference or discrimination of Rich or poor people and different facility. All should be treated as same standard.
Those cases already 498A/Divorce/CRPC125 or any other cases had been filed and couple are not staying together and their case already pending in court , should not be allowed to file another DV case ( This is total Violation of Indian Constitution of article 20 , where a accused can’t be punished twice for the same offence)
· WCD (Ministry of Women and Child Development) review committees consist of all women committees with radical and extreme views. We seek that representatives of NGO’s like Save Family Foundation and their associates should be included in this committee. This is to ensure that there is balance and sanity in the review of the law.
· Service providers in DV (Domestic Violence) LAW should be neutral persons and made accountable for their actions to ensure justice for the greater good of society. Restricting service providers to women’s group’s activists and organizations is like asking the wolf to guard the sheep. These groups are not above temptation to extortion, blackmail and corruption. Besides, who will monitor their actions and penalize them for abuses? Judges and officials should be neutral. They should be insulated from pressure and intimidation under the garb of gender sensitization.
The other problem is that a specious argument by similar set of lawyers is made that residence right previously not available is being made available. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Women and men both have same residence rights in fact women have better rights then men. Both can rent or buy houses. (Women actually pay less property tax in some states so it becomes clear that women had marginally superior rights). What has happened in the new laws that husbands and their families have been denied their residential rights.
It should be important that even a convicted murderer or terrorists are not denied their residence in his owned or rented residence. Further they failed to understand the Indian society that it is the Husbands family providing the residence to women in more than 99% cases. Such type of law, where your own right to stay in your own residence refused, in long run will make the poor girls family life more miserable as very few people will be really interested to marry girl who does not have a own residence.
The right of retired persons to live peacefully in houses purchased out of their retirement funds is being sought to be made unavailable to it as per present Domestic Violence LAW.
The other curious problem which has started that even violent women are getting their way in the domestic violence cases as there have been disturbing judgments to that affect . In addition to that as the law failed to describe what is “live-in-relationship” with a strict time frame to claim the legal rights form each other like all other developed countries, creating a situation where a job and right of a prostitutes and normal women made equal and there is no difference at all.
Another disturbing element is regards custody of children. It has upheld the traditional notion of women as children making machines. A husband or mother-in-law who has raised his children could go to Jail merely on account of taking care of children. That there are reports of such happening raises further cause for complaint.
Other disturbing elements have been arrests happening in DV law for non presence. Civil and marital law does not envision arrests or arrest warrants. (The only arrest warrants should be for non compliance of orders not for non presence where in ex prate order may be granted).
View Point: Domestic Violence Act lacks perspective By Zamir Uddin , Central Chronicle News. “In short, the DVA-2005 in its enthusiastic thoughtlessness has throttled all avenues of reconciliation, has weakened the foundations of the institution of marriage, and vitiated conjugal life by developing a false sense of ego and a fictional helplessness among women. When it comes to man-woman relationship let us listen to the traditional but sane voice of John Milton, the English poet and moralist. Milton says that man represents reason and woman passion. As long as reason dominates passion, there is cosmos, but the moment passion dominates reason, chaos ensues. Let us view marital life from this viewpoint for marriage is not a bed of roses but a domestic battlefield. Unless husband and wife bring immense goodwill and sacrifice to bear upon their marital fortunes, their situation is desperate. The DVA need to be replaced by some more benign, sensible, gender-neutral legislation that may ensure women their rightful, honorable place at home and abroad, at the same time not forgetting the rights of men.”
We want a better Society for our Future Generation and Stop a Father less Child Society, which in turn not only will increase the crime in the society , it is evident from the various study that a father less child had been victim of child abuse at least 10 times more than a normal child.Gender Biased LAW should immediately to be made crime based instead of any assumption that all women never lie and all the men born as Criminal. “MEN/WOMEN” word to be replaced by word “PERSON” and word wife/husband to be replaced with the word “SPOUSE”With High Regards (Save Family Foundation)Encl: Study Report of “Domestic Violence against Men”
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