Memorandum to Family Court on Children's day !

Ref: BF_Memo_Lko

Date: November 13, 2010

To,

The Hon’ble Principal Judge

Lucknow Family Court,

Lucknow (UP)

Subject: Memorandum submitted on November 13, 2010 to practice Shared Parenting and expedite child custody issues in courts, for the cause and welfare of children caught in matrimonial disputes.

Dear Sir,

“Bhavya Foundation”, a non-funded, non-profit registered charitable trust under the aegis of Save Indian Family Movement, dedicated to welfare of children, shared parenting, Women & Men’s Rights, Family Harmony and Gender Equality is submitting this memorandum on a eve before children day November 14, 2010 for the cause and welfare of millions of children like “Bhavya”, who are caught in matrimonial disputes as these children are deprived of love and affection of one parent (mostly fathers).

While most NGOs/Trusts pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labor, health, education etc whereas “Bhavya Foundation” deals with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents.

“Bhavya Foundation” aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. “Bhavya Foundation” believes that conflict between parents will be reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will be improved when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children.

Hundreds of Fathers, their family members and several like minded people will be coming forward to donate their blood to make a point that “Baccho ke liye raqt daan hei- maha daan”. We believe that the Children day is the best day to submit this memorandum to your kind authority as a true tribute to first prime minister of India who only once said that “One Father is better than 100 teachers”. The objective of this memorandum is to highlight the issues of children millions of like “Bhavya”, who are caught in matrimonial disputes as they are suffering most as they are deprived of love and affection of one parent mostly fathers.

Neither these children are “Fatherless” nor their fathers are “Childless” and if they are not united it is because of misuse of skewed gender biased laws and delayed child custody matters and biased judicial process who considers fathers as a sperm donors and ATM machine.

Judicial and Law making machinery in our country is biased against fathers and does not recognize the need of children that a child needs love and affection of both parents in all circumstances.

Similar things started happening in and around 1960 in United States of America, where the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

American statistics reports revels some more shocking facts about the children from fatherless homes are:

· 5 times more likely to commit suicide

· 32 times more likely to run away from home.

· 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders

· 14 times more likely to commit rape.

· 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

· 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)

· 9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution

· 20 times more likely to end up in prison.

· 3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

· At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.

Bhavya Foundation demands and appeals to intellectual judicial officers to save our country from becoming another America on such issues and save childhood of millions of children of like “Bhavya”, who are caught in matrimonial dispute.

"Studies have proved now that children who go through their parents' divorce have

· more conduct problems,

· symptoms of psychological maladjustment,

· lower academic achievement,

· Social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents.

To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this adds to their trauma.

On Children Day the demands of Bhavya Foundation are as follows:

1. Child custody issues to be disposed off within 6 months of the date of application, or at least visitation be granted to the non – custodian parent (fathers generally) in two hearings or three months whichever is earlier from the date of application and the granted visitation be of such nature so that it can build a sustainable parent – child relationship between the child (ren) and the non – custodian parent.

2. Judicial process must decide First Child Custody issues before allowing any other relief to any party. The Child shall not suffer in any case because he/she is a child.

3. Give due consideration to the presence of a father in a child’s upbringing not only as a name but also as the natural guardian and also give fathers a fair chance to win custody cases without any prejudice, Fathers are for life, not just for sperms and ATM machine operations.

4. Judicial process must enhance the role of child psychologists and panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children's upbringing before proceeding with the divorce/separation.

5. Child interviews should be conducted for complex cases only after the child has been allowed to spend nearly equal and quality time with both the parents and such interviews be limited to adolescents only and then too the interview be viewed as a guiding evidence only and not a primary one.

6. Children below the age of seven years should not be exposed to choice making between the parents as the process itself is cruelty to child (ren).

7. The “Parental Alienation” shall be considered as a serious crime and parents indulging in parental alienation shall not be given primary custody in any case as it brings in a lot mental distress to the child and the alienated parent. That "Parental alienation” occurs when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent.

8. Orientation programs for judges of family courts to be conducted by psychologists to sensitize them to child related issues,

9. The courts should have a liberal view on men accused of allegations under section 498a of the Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860) while deciding their child custody cases. An allegedly bad husband need not be a bad father and as the father is the natural guardian of the child, the misfortune of the incompatibility between his / her parents should be prevented from tricking as an impediment into the child’s welfare. Moreover the misuse of 498a by women being a known fact coupled with its low conviction rate, the mere presence of the allegations under section 498a of the Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860) should not act as a deterrent towards passing custody (interim or full) / visitation orders in favor of the fathers if the situation so warrants.

When Indian economy was opened for multinationals no body would have thought the divorce rate of the country will go up exponentially high with size of their pocket. As a result such children of divorcing/divorced parents are suffering most if caught in matrimonial disputes of parents.

Bhavya Foundation appeals to all interested parties to practice and propose joint custody in judicial processes for the best interest and welfare of child as we believe that when two parents are involved:

1. That joint custody is the best outcome for children.

2. That a child needs the support of both biological parents. BOTH biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children, as well as financially responsible.

3. That love and affection of grandparent and extended family plays significant role in overall development of children.

4. That shared parenting fosters shared responsibilities; when parents have equal access to their children parents.

5. That party should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.

In light of the above facts and figures, the concept of Shared Parenting needs to be given paramount importance in Child custody matters and wherever possible the judges should emphasize on Shared Parenting or Joint Custody after working out the practical and logistical constraints.

We hope the above recommendations get urgent attention as it is in the best interest of child welfare. We also hope the above recommendations will be taken in the right and positive spirit and truth based justice shall prevail upon the children and their fundamental right to have meaningful and positive access to both the biological parents must be maintained.

Thanks and Regards

For members Bhavya Foundation

Sincerely,

President

Bhavya Foundation

Copy to Chief Justice of

1. Lucknow Bench of Allahabad High Court. Lucknow.

2. Allahabad High Court, Allahabad.

3. Supreme Court of India.

“Why say no to elder court uncle……?

“Why say no to elder court uncle……?

The day I heard that there are all women police stations, all women buses and the government is planning to start all women courts for the cause, welfare and justice of women. I am forced to think if above is true for cause of women; then what crime we children have done?

Why can’t we have all children court where children will be the judges to decide on child custody matters?

I have experienced that these elders have not understood that a child need both parents since independent India in 1947. It is these elders only who have first made women and child development ministry and then later allowed women issues to highjack child issues. It is these elders only who are not separating this ministry to work for real child welfare.

Now, I am forced to believe that these elders are not capable to understand children’s requirement and work for child welfare.

It is these elders only because of which we children’s have suffered for decades. It is these elders only who have used as an extortion tool. These elders have failed to understand that we are a child but not extortion or a blackmailing tool. It is these elders only who have treated my father as an ATM machine. It is because of these elders I was called “fatherless” and my father was “childless” for decades.

It is these elders only who have not allowed us to have access to love and affection of father for decades. It is these elders only who think that giving access to father to see child is for the welfare of father and not for child. It is these elders only who have given indefinite multiple dates for decades thinking matrimonial disputes will be over automatically by the passage of time.

One day a big court uncle said in his judgment that I can’t get love and affection of father as there is no female at my father’s house. They fail to see that I wanted love of father not anything else and they focused on everything else except my love towards my father. In last date in my child custody matter court uncle asked my father that what benefit he will get if he will see me? As if meeting child is for welfare of father but not for me. These elder do not recognize my right to have equal time with both parents.

I sincerely believe that these elders have failed to understand the pain of children who are caught in matrimonial disputes. These elders will never understand that a child needs both parents. These elders think that my issues are small. Brothers of my age group understand better that “we may be small but our issues are BIG”.

A child can only understand the pain of other child and I not only want but demand of separate children courts where children will be the judges to decide on child custody matters. I am a child and I understand that a child needs both parents.

If we children were the judges then there would not have been any requirement for rescue brother adithya (http://www.rescureadithya.org/) and no Maqdoom uncle (http://www.saveindianfamily.org/about-us/press-releases/349-candle-light-march-to-commemorate-syed-and-protest-the-judiciary.html) would have ended life for child.

-We do not want elder court uncle to decide child custody matters, we children are better to decide them judiciously-

Thank you !

Seminar Invitation: Bhavya Foundation !

Dear All,

I have a small request that Please don’t call me fatherless and my father as childless……
We both exist & living for each-other. We both are waiting for court uncle’s orders to get united………………..as I NEED both parents.

Almost all children like me, who are caught in matrimonial disputes, are suffering as “shared parenting” is not practiced in our country.

Nobody including court uncle understands that a child needs both parents.
Please come forward to save childhood of millions of children like me.
Understand my requirements more by attending a seminar on
“Pariwarik Vivado main Ghisat-ta, Sisakta BACHPAN”
at
Surya Hotel, Civil Lines, Rae-Bareli (UP)
on 09/08/09 (Sunday)
from 11 to 2 PM
Join to support “shared parenting” to save my childhood and raise your voice against misuse of 498a (Dowry Law), Biased domestic violence Act, Slow and biased child custody matters and conspiracy to destroy the Family System of India. Let us prevent India becoming a Father Less Society.

…….MAIN “PAPA” KA KHOON HOON KOI WEEKEND TV PROGRAM NAHI…..

Contact: Rae-Bareli: 09455540355, Lucknow: 09305323243/09807149032 and Delhi: 09999107314/09868609678

Supported by: CRISP (Regd.), Pati-Pariwar Kalyan Samiti (Regd.), All India Forgotten Women (Regd.), MASI (Regd), Save Family Foundation (Regd.), Save Indian Family Foundation (Regd.)
…….I may be small, but my rights as a child are BIG and court uncle will also understand one day…………...

“Pariwar Bachao-Bachpan Bachao”